Just Because

For some reason I have the urge to blog tonight. I guess maybe because there has been so much going on. I started my new job at TTU on April 27th, and since then, we have had 4 deaths in our families and Xan has had 2 ear infections. I started my new job and then Eric's great-grandmother passed away. We dealt with that and the funeral and went on to the next week. Then Xan went to the doctor and we found out she had her 4th ear infection. We were told by her pediatrician that if she has one more ear infection, it is off to the ENT we go. In the next few weeks my great-aunt (Granny's sister) passed away and then my mother's cousin was killed in a car accident. We did not attend those funerals because we had already been off too much. Then last week, Eric's dad passed away so we had another funeral to go to. Since then, I have heard of 3 other people that we are somehow connected to (6 degrees of separation) have passed away. Then to top off my first month at my new job, Xan had to go to the doctor today because she was running a fever and she has her 5th ear infection! Of course, we are not sure if this means we are going to an ENT because her pediatrician is out the rest of this week and the doctor she saw today said that I would have to discuss referrals with her doctor. So now that probably means that we will be having tubes put in. Woohoo.So now I am sitting here wondering if things are going to get worse. I know that things CAN get worse, but I want to know if they are going to get worse.

I do feel really fortunate to have a very understanding supervisor and boss. Starting just a month ago, and having so much crap going on, they have been awesome to work with me and let me take care of things as I need to. I don't know many places that let you take off 4 hours each week your first 4 weeks. Granted, I make up the time; it's not like they let me off with pay. But to be so patient and understanding! That is one way that God has blessed me.

I know I have a lot to be thankful. We are all healthy, with the exception of Xan's ears. Both of my girls are very smart and beautiful. Tori finished Kindergarten today. She received an award for reading 24 books this year. She loves reading and reads everything from books to words on the TV to billboards. If she can see it, she reads it. Xan is so smart too. She can tell you what a cow says and what a puppy says. You ask her to bring you something and she will go pick up that particular thing and bring it to you. Tori and Xan are both happy, love to play and laugh and are full of life. They make me SMILE. They are the best blessings I could ever ask for.

I am thankful that I have a great job that allows me to not only provide for my family but spend time with them too. When I worked for CPS, I made good money, more than I am making now. But I was never home. I worked late, on weekends, on holidays, and at home when I wasn't out working. With this new job, I go to work for 8 hours and come home and don't have to work at home. I know that when we get busy in the Fall, that will change a little, but working late will be the exception and not the rule. I am hoping that life will settle down so that I can really settle into my job without crazy personal stress affecting me.

Well, I think I am off to bed. With all the craziness I don't get much sleep anymore.

Life is Boring? HA!

--I would give anything for a boring life right now, even if just for a day. Things have been so crazy around here, I need a vacation!! --Yesterday, Tori and Xan went to the doctor for their 6-year check-up and 15-month check-up, respectively. With all the struggles Xan has had to endure over the last 15 months, I figured she would be the one that would come with the news, but instead, it was Tori! -----Sidebar: When Xan was born, she was given a clean bill of health. Then at her 2-month check-up, her doctor noticed that she was not holding her head up like she was supposed to be. They told me to wait a month, and if it didn't approve, to call Early Childhood Intervention (ECI). Well, a month later we were scheduling an evaluation with ECI. They determined that Xan was developmentally delayed and qualified for their services. She began working with an Occupational Therapist twice a month. They labeled the issue that she has low muscle tone and it was causing her delays. She was not able to hold her head up on her own. She was delayed in rolling over. When she would crawl, it was not a normal crawl. She did an army crawl. So since May 2008, the ECI OT and the ECI Coordinator have been coming out twice a month each to work with her. Last week, ECI came out and did a re-evaluation to see where Xan was developmentally. I am proud to say that she is now on target and is even exceeding expectations in some areas (socially she is basically a 2-year-old). Xan has also suffered from Acid Reflux and been on medication for most of her first year of life. She was also weighing in under-weight so we had to get some weight on her because it her weight was too low. --So when Eric called after the doctor's appointment, Xan was in the 50% for weight, we got to take her off of the Prevacid, and the doctor was thrilled that she was being dismissed from ECI!! Her appointment was excellent. --Tori, on the other hand, leaves me worried and stressed (can't help it, I'm a mom). The doctor stated that she POSSIBLY has "exercise induced asthma." Now those of you who are asthmatics are saying "what's the big deal? She can live with it." But for a mom who does not have asthma, it can be very scary. -----Sidebar: When Tori was 3, we were at my mom's for the weekend. Eric, Tori and I were sleeping in the living room. We woke in the middle of the night to Tori crying. I told her to come get in bed with me. When she got up there, she was wheezing. My mom came in there and we realized that she was having an asthma attack. I had never heard her breath like that and her chest and stomach were tight! It was incredibly scary. We had to rush her to the ER and after a breathing treatment, she was good as new. We followed-up with her doctor the next week and he said that we didn't need to do anything unless she had another asthma attack. That was the scariest part of all!!! As a mother, it is very nerve-racking to have to worry if tonight will be the night we have to rush to the ER again. I didn't really like that answer, but I went with it because he's the doctor. -----Sidebar: We have a new pediatrician now that we absolutely LOVE! He is AWESOME! --So now Tori has an inhaler and a spacer. I have been reading the instructions and we have been practicing using them, without actually dispensing the medicine. She now has to take 2 puffs 15 minutes before exercise. So we have to get in the habit of giving it to her before soccer practice and soccer games. We also have to listen to her at night to see if she is coughing while sleeping. If she does that, then we have to call the doctor and may have to do something different. I know it could be worse. I know we could be in this situation after the second asthma attack instead of after a check-up, but it is kind of stressful. She also now has to be on allergy medicine EVERYDAY instead of as needed. Her sinuses were very swollen. There is also another POTENTIAL issue that the doctor brought to our attention. It is very personal, so I won't go into details. We have to keep an eye on her and if symptoms persist then we may have to take action. I think this is the thing that has me most concerned. --Then, on top of all my mommy worries, our day just got even better! (sarcasm) Eric received a call that his dad was being taken to the ER with a 103 temperature. Eric's dad is not in good health. He has Parkinsons Disease, does not walk, does not talk much, and when he does eat, has to be fed by someone else. He has been on hospice for the last month and just is not doing well over-all. So a high temperature for him is serious. We found out that he has a blood infection and he was admitted to the hospital. After Eric went to visit him today, he was told that his dad will stay in the hospital at least 4-6 weeks. Eric has been trying to build a relationship with his father over the last few months, so this has been extremely difficult for him. At this point we have to wait and see what the prognosis will be. --To add to the stress, Eric has been trying to find a job and potentially has a supervisor position with a new call center in town. We are waiting to hear from that company if he gets that position or not. That is good stress, but stress none-the-less. --Tori is also involved in Girl Scouts and soccer. For Girl Scouts, I am an assistant troop leader and member of the service unit team. For soccer, believe it or not, I am one of the coaches. Although these are fun activities, both for me and Tori, they entail a lot of planning and time. --So with our fun activities and regular daily activities and all the excitement added yesterday, it has been a long and stressful week, and it's only Wednesday!!!!! Maybe things will calm down before the weekend.

Life is Funny (a poem)

Life is funny
I sit here
Watching people speed by
I wonder
Why is everyone in a hurry?

Life is funny
I sit here
Watching the clouds dance by
I wonder
Why are clouds so free?

Life is funny
I sit here
Watching an ant scurry by
I wonder
Why does he work so hard?

The funny thing about life:
People who have the most to live for have no time to enjoy it.
An ant that has no purpose in the world works the hardest.
And the clouds that have no where to go enjoy existance the most.

Seventh wonder of the world

I know that it sounds cliche, but I truly believe that my little redhead is the seventh wonder of the world. As of today she is 2 years, 4 months, 3 days, and 5.5 hours old. And for only being 2 years old, she is amazing. She can sing her ABCs along with anyone (or anything) that sings with her. She can recognize and clearly say all her letters (except K and V which seem to give her some trouble). She can count 1-10 by herself and even recognize them when written. She speaks very clearly and most sentences are 2-3 word sentences. And she melts my heart when she says "Momma, hold me." :o)

I know that all mothers think that their children are geniuses, and I am not saying she is a genius, but I do think that she is gifted. Maybe it is just being a proud mom, but I know she is smart.

Every day when I come home from work she has learned a new word or a new sentence or a new song. I am teaching her sign language as she learns to talk (some researchers say that children learn to speak English quicker when taught sign language at the same time). Who knows, maybe she will be the next Sandra Day O'Connor or Laura Bush or Mary Higgins Clark or Celine Deon or someone else that is famous. (I forgot to mention that she loves to sing with me and dance to any music that comes on the radio or TV.)

I just hope that I succeed as a mother so that she can succeed as a woman and be whatever she dreams to be (which will change 1000 times in the next 20 years).

Men still rule the corporate world.

Wait and let me explain before all you women start screaming. I know that in this day and age of the year 2005 that all females love to say we are finally getting equal treatment at work. Well, if you are a woman that works and you still believe that, I envy your position.

I work in the world of private corporations, and as much as it pains me to say it, that world is still run by men. I never thought that I would work for a company that is completely ran by men. All of the Presidents and Vice Presidents and "important" people and the clients I am trying to sell to are men. As a woman, this makes my job very difficult. I deal with prospective clients from the "old school" way of thinking that would rather deal with a man than a 25 year old woman. It is a joke to them that an intelligent, young woman could actually exist and if she does, that she knows what she is talking about when it comes to business.

This is so frustrating to me because in the year that I have been in this business, I have learned more than most people do in 3 years. But still I struggle every day to be heard by the male dominants.

My one hope is that by the time my redhead is a woman in the working world, that we will have progressed and women will be recognized as intelligent and worthy as men.

The beginning of who knows what...

Well... I guess you could say that I have once again been inspired by my big brother, Jeremy, who was inspired by his creative wife, Beth. Beth has been blogging since November and Jeremy recently started also. I figured that I have a lot to say, whether anyone wants to hear it or not, so I might as well say it here.

I'm sure that you are wondering about the name of my blog "Roses are redheads." For anyone who does not personally know me, the light of my life is my beautiful, spunky, stubborn, red-headed 2 year old daughter. And, her middle name happens to be Rose. The reason that she is incorporated is that she has been my life-line for the past 3 years (including pregnancy ... which starts a tangent).

Tangent 1: For any of you who do not have kids, or are men, or said that while pregnant, you felt the best you ever have ... this is for you. My 36 weeks of pregnancy were the sickest that I have EVER been. Some women are fortunate enough to have little or no morning sickness. I was cursed with 36 weeks of it. So please, please, please be respectful of mothers-to-be. Open the doors for them, be patient when they are waddling slowly down an aisle, DON'T rub their bellies (that is not a thrill for them), husbands - hold their hair when they puke and rub their feet. STOP and take time to tell your mother "Thank you." Pregnancy is not always a pleasant dance. But, I will never regret it because that precious girl saying "luv you" and "momma" would melt the coldest of hearts.

OK, so I am off that tangent and back to why my daughter is so much a part of everything I do (even blogs). I truly believe, and always will, that if it were not for God sending me a child, I would not be where I am today. When I found out I was pregnant, I was still trying to motivate myself to finish school and figure out what the heck I wanted to do with my life. It's amazing how life changing events can force someone to make quick decisions. On that day in July when I saw that wake up call, I knew from that point on it was up to me to provide for a little soul. I had to finish school, get a good job, and be successful so that my little girl could have everything that she needed, dreamed, and more.

Of course there is more to this story ... like how I was a single mom for 2 months, met my husband to be, was married November 1, 2003 ... but that is all many different blogs.

So I graduated from Tech in May 15, 2004 (mind you I should have graduated December of 2001 ... I seem to like the indirect paths). On May 18th I began a job in the insurance industry (with a B.A. in Psychology?) to begin planning for my daughter's future. So here I am, spending every day, working hard to succeed in a male dominated career (another tangent later), just to get that little redhead through life to become a law-abiding, productive citizen.

Closing: Since this is my first blog, I appreciate anyone who has stayed with my ramblings this long. Just wait until I get really hyped up about something (like the 5 year old in Florida put in handcuffs) and you will really see what my ramblings are like.